Welcome to my great misuse of time

I don’t know what I was thinking of when I thought of starting this. Just stuff, I suppose. Just a place to write stuff. Somewhere I can blah about things.

Well. I suppose the first thing to talk about is the fact that I’m falling in love with a girl who has a baby. That she has a baby isn’t even the problem. She’s eighteen. That’s the problem. But she’s so so mature for her age. It’s just so confusing. I’m having confusing feelings because it feels like a lot of stuff is going on in my head.

I had a date with someone a few weeks ago which was the first date I’d had in a very, very long time, one that for once I was feeling convinced I was ready for. Still piecing myself together after my old relationship. And now this. This sudden and out of the blue love for someone I wasn’t expecting, and maybe that’s the best thing about it. I wasn’t expecting. If I stop expecting and thinking too hard things will come. Or at least I won’t be disappointed. And here she is.

We have a date soon. In a few weeks. All three of us, because dates with her will involve dates with her little girl, too. Of course.

I brought Sims 4 yesterday because I’m an awful person. And I knew I was an awful person, which was why when I was coming home from work I dropped a fiver into a homeless girls cup. I can’t frivolously spend stupid amounts of money on games and just walk past people begging. But there was something about her and I can’t really get it out of my head, I wish I’d brought her food, I wish I’d asked if she was okay and if there was anything I could do for her. I kind of hope she’s there on Tuesday so that I can buy her a coffee or something. I don’t know. It’s bothering me.

My tick list for the day is going down, that’s cool. I’m going for a run later. Today is a good day.


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